Pro-Recovery


Before I go to bed

Night loves
- months ago my parents said to me
“We aren’t smoking anymore. We did that for you guys. So please. Since we don’t can you please eat again. For us”

I had a big fight with my parents. Not speaking to either of them.
My dad smoked a cigar. I’m furious. I feel like I have died on the inside. It makes me so upset and harmful.
I feel like if he if able to make the choice to harm his body than why does it matter for me?
I did this for them. Now they do that to themselves. No. I hate this. My mum was all tipsy too. Why.

Anonymous: I don't know whether this is the case with you, but before my ED I would eat foods that now I wouldn't eat in a million years, like not because I'm too scared to but because I hate then. I also eat foods that I found disgusting before my ED that I absolutely adore now!

NO I AM THE SAME!!

Okay. I’m gonna shock everyone.
Pre-ed… I hated BANANAS and KIWIS and PRUNES and lettuce and salad and HUMMUS and some red pasta sauces …

"But Mary… You have those everyday…"

Exactly.

Plus now I HATE HATE HATE maple syrup and eggs and Nutella (I know. I know.) and nuts and cheese and pesto!

Look at my sexy dinner

Yup. A Lobster. A whole lobster. 
Well I ate the tail and the claws because the upper body was filled with its liver and I don’t eat that part because its some weird green gross looking thing and… No… Just no..

I have been chatting with the other girl for hours and we happily got along and it was fabulous! I’m so glad! We also bonded over the lobster haha and we actually had so much in common which made me so happy. Plus she loves food and was super comfortable eating which made it so much easier for me thankfully!
Plus my mum approved of the size of my plate so all was good! 

Oh and fyi… The tail is really chewy BUT the claws and YUM! In other words: I prefer the claws and wouldn’t eat the tail again. I’m not a chewy food kind of person haha
I WENT TO THE MARKET AND BOUGHT A CHAMPAGNE MANGO 

- I had never had one before and they are AMAZING! Better than normal mangos because they aren’t as chewy or stringy or have a rough texture. They are smooth and sweet. Perfect! AND SMALL AND CUTE!

Plus a turkey sandwich thing. I’m the only person in the whole house of 10 people who had lunch because noooo I can’t have “brunch” it doesn’t count because I’m “special” and “can’t afford to”.. Oh well. I enjoyed my mango so whatever. Plus I bought a cappuccino flavour Larabar! I had no idea that they sold those flavours!
AND IVE BEEN IN A BIKINI ALL DAY AND IM SO HAPPY WITH MYSELF FOR DOING THAT
Party for body love over here!
Anonymous: It's probably totally normal to go back and forth on restaurant choices. I do it, my dad does it and everyone I know too. Only people who know exactly what they like and won't try new stuff don't switch (but sometimes they do too!)

Thank you for this! It does make me feel better and I do know that it’s pretty normal! My brother does the same haha

Mines a bit more “disordered” because my minds always thinking “what’s less calories and fat” which is super stressful because I just wanna choose something nice and enjoy it not have to have these voices annoying meeeee

I WENT TO THE MARKET AND BOUGHT A CHAMPAGNE MANGO 

- I had never had one before and they are AMAZING! Better than normal mangos because they aren’t as chewy or stringy or have a rough texture. They are smooth and sweet. Perfect! AND SMALL AND CUTE!

Plus a turkey sandwich thing. I’m the only person in the whole house of 10 people who had lunch because noooo I can’t have “brunch” it doesn’t count because I’m “special” and “can’t afford to”.. Oh well. I enjoyed my mango so whatever. Plus I bought a cappuccino flavour Larabar! I had no idea that they sold those flavours!
AND IVE BEEN IN A BIKINI ALL DAY AND IM SO HAPPY WITH MYSELF FOR DOING THAT
Party for body love over here!
Anonymous: howd it make u sick tho

Honestly I don’t know! It just did! I will never know but I’m not prepared to find out and eat it again

Anonymous: so like, how are you so cool?

So like, HOW ARE YOU SO KIND AND LOVELY!

Anonymous: wat experiences did u have with mcdonalds??

I got sick… Three times 🙈

Brunch 😍

Yes I’ve had waffles before HOWEVER I have never had waffles made by a restaurant/cafe. So I gladly had this! Which actually tasted perfectly crunchy on the outside but soft inside 🙊 I’m really proud. I was having a lot of difficulty CHOOSING a meal which frustrates me. I hate how long it takes me to decide - I always go back and forth ugggh - why can’t the day come when I choose and STAY with my choice 😑 oh well I’m getting there! We are having a clam bake for an early dinner!! Which is gonna be YUM but I’m nervous because a girl my age is coming to have it and IM IN A BIKINIIIIIIII